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| My God is a God who provides.
i mentioned before that last year, spiritually, was not the best year for me. i think it was struggling to adjust to the fact that i'm independent and living on my own, with no one to hold me accountable for my spiritual life. no, i didnt go crazy and party it up every weekend or get drunk or anything like that. i just seriously let my Spiritual walk with God slide. not attending church all the time, avoiding AACF. sure i would pray before i ate and such, but they were more out of habit than anything else. and i always felt so guilty. because i WANTED to be close to God, i really did, it was just so hard. and being the person i am, i didnt want to "half ass" it and be "lukewarm" it was like this one woman who was in my small group at the richmond retreat said (kk will get this) "if i'm going to hell, i'm going to do it thoroughly" (or was it edward cullen? hah) no matter. because wasnt it better to be cold than lukewarm? and i always ALWAYS hated lukewarm Christians.
Richmond changed a lot. as much as i hated to admit it then, i think it was exactly the wake up call i needed. everything about it. the messages, the small groups, all the discussions. it was like God had told the speakers, "so listen, there's this girl, Sherlynn, and this message is for her" I was the bride who was not ready for the bridegroom to come. I was Israel, from whom the glory had departed from whitout the testimony. I was the lampstand that was not of the gold standard. I was the one delaying His coming.
After that, a lot changed. i had the fire to pursue the Lord that i didnt before. i kept waiting for it to wear off, like a Spiritual high usually does, but it didnt.. or hasn't... and even now, back at school, back at the place where i dont have my church, or my family or my friends to keep me in check, i've recently been reading Donald Miller's "Searching for God Knows What" (which btw is a great book that you should totally read) and that has really been doing great things for me. (in addition to The Word of course). and God is watching over me and sending people to watch out for me. i started going to AACF again, and our president asked to have lunch with me. we set a date, and after our lunch date, she said that she just had a lot of free time this year, and felt like God wanted her to mentor or disciple an underclassmen and asked if i wanted to do weekly Bible stuides with her, to which i agreed. and even today, one of our faculty leaders called me and asked if she could pray for me in any way, and right there, she prayed, over the phone, for me.
as silly as these things sound, i just think that the Lord has blessed me so much this year already. He is truly so faithful and gracious to me every day.
I will rejoice, I will declare,
God is my victory and He is here.
-S
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| apparently i don't update enough.
so two months have passed since my break has started, and i still haven't found a job. it's been kind of a failure of a summer actually. i did go to taiwan for two weeks, which was pretty awesome. and i'm going to virginia next week, which will be really great. i'm really excited for the richmond retreat. the speakers are great, and its just a really great scene and environment. it stresses family and unity a lot, which is really nice and heartwarming, although both of my parents will not be there. i'm a little disappointed about not going to the west coast conference, but maybe next year i can find a way to work that out.
it's funny, i spent half of second semester missing home and nj and all the fast paced-ness and everything.. but now i really miss school. i miss my school friends, my ASB family... and just the scene, i guess. i miss monday nights at buttrick watching 24 on a big screan. i miss studying in stevenson at night, and the trips to mcdonalds to get iced coffee. i miss girl talking late at night. or hanging out in the lounge, or just going out and not having a curfew. on some level, i wish i were back in nashville.
r.i.p. king of pop, michael jackson.
r.i.p. charlie's angel, farrah fawcett.
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| <3 jason mraz and dmb. saturday night was amazing. phenomenal. it was quite possibly the best night ever. jason was definitely on something, but he was amazing regardless. <3 him. he is so funny, and such an amazing performer live. dmb was... there are no words to describe it :). the drummer was amazing. he is so adorable, he was just having a good time and all smiles. it was so adorable. and they played crash into me, which was unspeakabley amazing. everyone when into hysterics. like. it was just the best thing ever. the only thing that would've made the night better, was if i had caught the drumsticks that the drummer threw out in the end. </3. so sad. but regardless. it was amazing.
one more final. then home tomorrow! <3
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| when you just can't stop laughing. but its not like real laughter- it's like hysterical laughter. and you can't stop because you know you can either laugh or cry, and it's always better to be laughing,
yeah. thats how i'm feeling now
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| T.I. at Vandy.
way awesome. rites of spring will be great
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